I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize