Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dicks are not precious.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
