Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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