Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
