Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
