So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would fuck him just for his dog
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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