i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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