Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
