He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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