and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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