How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
