I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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