But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
