did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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