New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
FUCK WHALES
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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