its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
