Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
