Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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