it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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