Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
