Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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