It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
