Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
