____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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