i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
