is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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