i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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