cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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