And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
