Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
