no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
