is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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