i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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