I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
