Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My penis needs a shock collar
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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