Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am available for nakedness
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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