I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
