if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just had sex on a roof
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
