My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
