One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
