Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
