'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ok first of all what the fuck
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
