It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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