Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm like, not good at living.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
