Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
