She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
