Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
