I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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