hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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