Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
