Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
