I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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