Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
