He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
