So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
